My chinese girlfriend sent me a message .. from sicily

My chinese girlfriend sent me a message, saying she find my latest messages
inspiring enough to consider to come back one of these days. But beforehand
she accepted the invitation of a galerist she met in a café at some shabby
sicilian port.
He proposed her a solo-exhibition in his Gallery at Porto Cervo on Costa Smeralda, Sardinia.
His only condition was, that she has to paint some „Seestücke“ (he seems to be german),
while on their way sailing on his big white boat from Sicily to Sardinia.
Shurely i asked her to send me a photo, to post it here.

Forest covered beach at Costa Smeralda, Sardinia

Forest covered beach on Costa Smeralda, Sardinia. She sent this little photo today. These chinese women are unpredictable ! – Dicht bewaldeter Strand an der Smaragd-Küste von Sardinien. Sie schickte das heute. Diese chinesischen Frauen sind unvorhersehbar. – But who the hell made it !! – Must have been this so-called „Gallery-Owner“ from Porto Cervo – ain’t it ?! – But then … WHY did she sent it to me ?

Als ich meine chinesische Freundin zum erstenmal traf .. [No.1]

Als ich meine chinesische Freundin zum erstenmal traf, (english at the end) sagte ich ihr, „sie sei sehr magnetisch und wenn wir miteinander sprechen wollten, müssten wir mindestens 4 Meter Abstand halten, denn sonst würde es plötzlich „KLATSCH“ machen“ .. ich klatschte statt das Wort zu sagen, wirklich vor ihrem Gesicht in die erhobenen Hände – „und wir klebten sofort aufeinander .. – und dann sei eben das Unglück schon geschehen und die Schmerzen würden beginnen“ ..

 (and now in english: hopefully i do not make all this difficult translations completely in vain and some people in the world could profit from it) When i met my chinese girlfriend the very first time, i said to her, „she is very magnetic and whenever we meet and speak with each other we should keep a distance of at least 4 meters between us, because if we not, we stick (glue, adhere, cling) -at this point i clapped my hands together right in front of her face – straightaway without delay directly on each other .. and then the disaster (catastrophe, calamity, accident, hard blow) has already happened and the big pain is going to begin“ ..